oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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