I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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