We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
