i would punch a child for taco bell
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
