Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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