i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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