My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize