i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
