Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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