i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
