Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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