When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
false alarm. still invincible.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
