she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize