I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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