in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize