Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
