I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
