He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
