I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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