It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
