Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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