he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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