I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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