Me. At least after what I've been through.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
