just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
