yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
