Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
