Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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