we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
