Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
