do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
