I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
