You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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