if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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