Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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