Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
