He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
