Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
