I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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