I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
