What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
