marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
