You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
