i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
