i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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