Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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