after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
