it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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