dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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