Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
