I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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