its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The uberlube is also flammable
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
