You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
