My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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