I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
