you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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