I cannot find my penis.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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