hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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