I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
