It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
