I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
