Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
