I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
