About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
