Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
